I’m still in my pajamas, it’s raining, it’s grey, it’s cold. It’s also 11:00 am.
Do you ever feel like you need a vacation after a vacation? That’s really not my problem here. It might be too much vacation. I spent 10 days in Orange Beach with my youngest daughter and her friend on spring break. Now here are some girls who know how to chill on vacation! Needless to say, I am having a hard time getting back into the fast pace I usually thrive on. This morning, although I am working, I’m doing it in my pj’s and I’m okay with that.
I am usually an early bird, but on vacation I started sleeping in later. Granted, not as late as the girls. The biggest stressor we had was: beach or pool? Eat in or eat out? You get the picture. Although, I do have to say we did accomplish major hurdles in our marathon training. Olivia, training for a full marathon, ran 22 miles. I’m training for a 1/2 marathon and ran 10 miles. Then we did nothing the rest of the week. Literally.
FYI, I still hate running and I will be glad when this is done. At about mile six, I literally yelled, ”Where the heck is the freaking runners high?!” I never felt it. After not feeling it for ten miles, I’m pretty sure it won’t be happening. Who knows though? I still have 5 weeks before the big day.
Trying to get up on time these last few days has been a bit brutal. This morning, I got up at six to drink coffee and have my quiet time and promptly fell asleep again only to wake up and see I missed my boot camp class. Whoops! Tomorrow is another day…
So on this extremely lazy vacation we did go out a few times for dinner, but most of the time we were very content to order take-out and watch Netflix. Namely Survivor. We binge watched two entire seasons. (That might explain the sleeping in.)
Remember Survivor? Our family was totally hooked on it back in the day. We used to vote during the last commercial. Olivia would go around and collect the ballots in a little hat and then we would go thru them after the show was done. When I was a kid, we used to watch Sonny and Cher as a family on Sunday nights. Things have changed.
My writer’s brain was taking notes while we watched Survivor. It perfectly describes the game I played for years as a closet alcoholic.
They all applied to me, but the one that struck the biggest chord with me was Outwit. That was my primary role in life for about 8 years. Outwit everyone I know, hiding from them that I had a constant IV of vodka in my system. What a way to live. Until my family became the jury and my torch went out.
Best thing that could’ve happened to me was to get kicked off my own private island of continuous imbibing.
We watched a season where previous players came back to play the game better with more experience. I did that too. I came back over and over to play again. Never won. It might have had something do with the Alliance I had created.
Alliances are a big part of the game on Survivor. My Alliance consisted of Grey Goose and White Zin. They both betrayed me. Made me promises. Broke them. Led me to trust that they were the ones I should stick with when the going got tough. They’re still around. Gathering up more players. Thank God I’m not one of them. Are you?
I have a new Alliance. His name is Jesus and this Sunday we will celebrate his resurrection. He died a horrible death for me, and you. He died so that when I got off Addiction Island, he was waiting for me with open arms.
On Survivor when someone gets kicked off, they walk this lonely path alone. I was never alone when my torch went out.
“You are loved more than you will ever know by someone who died to know.” – Psalm 143:8
I don’t want a do over on how to outwit myself or my family ever. I know what it is to feel authentic love.
I like living this authentic life much more. I love this quote by Carrie Fisher:
I am grateful to have survived. I try to stay away from difficult situations that I know will suck me back into the game. But there will be more hard things to face in life. So I am grateful that I have an assurance now, an alliance I can rely on. If I look around, I am surrounded by an alliance of God, Family, and Friends. There is no reason to call on my old alliance of alcohol ever again.
I have Immunity.
Blessings on your Easter.
#change #God #recovery #family